Wandering Adventure Party

Timeline Of U.S. Interventions In Latin AmericaThe Trump administration’s strikes on Venezuela are part of a long history of American involvement in the region. The Onion looks back at the history of U.S. interventions in Latin America.  500 B.C. So far so good. 1899 The United Fruit Company begins its noble quest to spread the love of healthy eating throughout Latin […]The post Timeline Of U.S. Interventions In L…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/timeline-of-u-s-interventions-in-latin-america/

U.K. Bans Junk Food AdvertisementsThe United Kingdom banned junk food advertisements on television before 9 p.m. and at any time online, part of a drive to tackle childhood obesity. What do you think?The post U.K. Bans Junk Food Advertisements appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/u-k-bans-junk-food-advertisements/

DHS Warns Any Action By Americans Will Be Treated As Domestic TerrorismWASHINGTON—Claiming that the Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent who fatally shot 37-year-old Minneapolis resident Renee Good as she drove away from him was “fully justified,” Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem warned Thursday that any action taken by Americans would be treated as domestic terrorism. “Make no …#theonionhttps://theonion.com/dhs-warns-any-action-by-americans-will-be-treated-as-domestic-terrorism/

Fact-Checking The Trump Administration On VenezuelaPresident Donald Trump has made a number of claims about the future of Venezuela since U.S. special forces raided the country and captured President Nicolás Maduro and his wife. The Onion assesses the veracity of the president’s statements. Claim: The U.S. attacked Venezuela for its oil. Partially True: Also for bloodlust. Claim: Venezuela stole oil […]The po…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/fact-checking-the-trump-administration-on-venezuela/

Kristi Noem Calls Fatal Minneapolis Shooting CatharticThe post Kristi Noem Calls Fatal Minneapolis Shooting Cathartic appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/kristi-noem-calls-fatal-minneapolis-shooting-cathartic/

RFK Jr. Recommends Drinking Anything That Comes Out Of CowWASHINGTON—Claiming that most people only get a fraction of the benefits the “nutritional gold mine” has to offer, Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. issued new dietary guidelines this week encouraging Americans to drink anything that comes out of a cow. “While milk is already an established part of many American diets, it’s really only […]Th…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/rfk-jr-recommends-drinking-anything-that-comes-out-of-cow/

CDC Scales Back Child Vaccine ScheduleThe Trump administration sharply cut the U.S. childhood vaccine schedule from 17 to 11 recommended shots, with health experts warning that changes were made without an adequate review and will only confuse parents and clinicians. What do you think?The post CDC Scales Back Child Vaccine Schedule appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/cdc-scales-back-child-vaccine-schedule/

Bananas SplitThe post Bananas Split appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/bananas-split/

Area Man Knows When He Not Welcome In Children’s MuseumINDIANAPOLIS—Dusting off the kinetic sand from his hands as he walked with his head held high toward the exit, 34-year-old area man Benjamin Schrock reportedly told visitors and staff of Discovery Zone Children’s Museum on Tuesday that he knows when he’s not welcome. “I’ve been around the block, but never in my adult life have […]The post Area Man Know…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/area-man-knows-when-he-not-welcome-in-childrens-museum/

Trump Asks National Intelligence Point-Blank If God RealWASHINGTON—Cutting off a top security advisor mid-speech as he eagerly posed his question, President Donald Trump reportedly interrupted a briefing Tuesday to ask officials from the National Intelligence Council whether God was real. “So what do we know about Him? Are there any photos?” said a quizzical Trump, adding that he brought the matter up […]…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/trump-asks-national-intelligence-point-blank-if-god-real/

RFK Jr. Scales Back Childhood Mortality ScheduleWASHINGTON—Saying the changes would empower Americans to make more informed decisions about their family’s health, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. announced Wednesday that he had scaled back the department’s childhood mortality schedule. “For too long, the U.S. government has imposed strict and unnecessary guidelines about whether or not our…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/rfk-jr-scales-back-childhood-mortality-schedule/

Study Finds Increased Demand Among Gen Z For Non-Alcoholic FathersThe post Study Finds Increased Demand Among Gen Z For Non-Alcoholic Fathers appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/study-finds-increased-demand-among-gen-z-for-non-alcoholic-fathers/

Oil Stocks Rise After U.S. Capture Of MaduroEnergy company stocks and the price of crude oil surged after the United States captured Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro, with Trump claiming U.S. oil companies would participate in rebuilding the South American country’s energy infrastructure. What do you think?The post Oil Stocks Rise After U.S. Capture Of Maduro appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/oil-stocks-rise-after-u-s-capture-of-maduro/

Trump Spotted Wearing Paper Sign Reading ‘The President’The post Trump Spotted Wearing Paper Sign Reading ‘The President’ appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/trump-spotted-wearing-paper-sign-reading-the-president/

Chevron CEO Sure In Good Mood This WeekHOUSTON—Calling the executive’s demeanor “unnervingly jovial,” company sources confirmed Tuesday that Chevron CEO Mike Wirth sure was in a good mood this week. “Man, normally that guy is a first-rate asshole, so something must be up,” said an anonymous employee, who noted that the typically stone-faced executive had pulled into his reserved parking spot that […]The post Chevron CEO …#theonionhttps://theonion.com/chevron-ceo-sure-in-good-mood-this-week/

Apple Photos Reminds Man He Was Nude In Capitol Building 5 Years AgoThe post Apple Photos Reminds Man He Was Nude In Capitol Building 5 Years Ago appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/apple-photos-reminds-man-he-was-nude-in-capitol-building-5-years-ago/

Lost Jan. 6 Rioter Still Searching Capitol Building For Mike PenceWASHINGTON—As he wandered aimlessly through the halls of the U.S. Capitol building, lost Jan. 6 rioter Alex Morris told reporters Tuesday that he was still searching for former Vice President Mike Pence. “Oh my God, how am I back in Statuary Hall again? Where the hell is Pence?” said Morris, tucking a noose under his […]The post L…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/lost-jan-6-rioter-still-searching-capitol-building-for-mike-pence/

Steph Curry Finally Finishes Eating MouthguardThe post Steph Curry Finally Finishes Eating Mouthguard appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/steph-curry-finally-finishes-eating-mouthguard/

Mark Kelly Punished With Expulsion To Outer SpaceThe post Mark Kelly Punished With Expulsion To Outer Space appeared first on The Onion.#theonionhttps://theonion.com/mark-kelly-punished-with-expulsion-to-outer-space/

NASA Discovers Distant Planet With Conditions That Could Sustain RocksWASHINGTON—Lauding the breakthrough as a pivotal moment in the search for stones beyond the solar system, researchers at NASA announced Tuesday the discovery of a distant planet with perfect conditions for sustaining rocks. “After analysis of HD 101581 b’s atmosphere and surface conditions, we are confident this astronomic…#theonionhttps://theonion.com/nasa-discovers-distant-planet-with-conditions-that-could-sustain-rocks/