Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
-
I hear you, and the same situation exists wrt racism. People of color say they get a ton of racist interactions, but I don't see it, so don't respond.
I think three things are going on:
1. There are things that *I* don't perceive as racist/sexist, but are experienced as such by the target. That bc the perpetrator is modulating to escape detection
2. There are things that I haven't realized are racist and sexist, and I need to educate myself
3. I am not in those environments
@bob @vkc -
Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
So sorry, you had to go through this!
Just because we're in "the good place", we shouldn't assume that misogyny, racism and other ugly stuff doesn't find its way here.
It definitely exists, and it often hides behind false solidarity ("They're a good one, look at all the good they wrote and did. You misunderstood and are just overreacting.")
Awareness is the first step.
Abuse has to fought everywhere!
-
-
Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc This is such a frustratingly common experience. I’m sorry it happened to you.
-
Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc I am sorry this happened to you. Thank you for sharing this experience (when I was young many women stayed silent -- I couldn't back them up when I didn't know what was going on and it weighs on me). I come to fedi/masto to get away from the bullshit, and I'm so sorry to know it is here too. I do my part to call out abuse when I see/hear it around me. I just want to say being dragged into a fight for existing is fucking awful, and you're not alone in being pissed-off. Fuck those assholes.
-
Sorry this happen to you. There are fighters out there but it's a tough fight and big Fediverse.
Fedi needs a hashtag that is a call to action to fight harassment and bigotry. Blocking or muting isn't enough. There should be a way to call in the Calvary to defend those being attacked.
Simply reply with #StompTheBully (or something) and the good guys show up to shut things down. Summon the guard dogs and we'll show up. As 6'5" father of a mess of daughters nothing makes me happier when my crew needs me for some "Big Dog Energy".
Do you think this should be separate from the #FediBlock system already in place or in addition?
-
@eq @vkc idk how much it helps (if at all), but it might help to focus on the problem (excluding behaviours) rather than groups (humans are a let down).
Like... less "the situation will always be shit" ("we can't have nice things") and more "That sounds very frustrating; I don't wish that for you or anyone else".
Maybe with a dash of "I try to fight it where I can, but XYZ tends to happen. Anyone got any advice while we're on the topic?"
Or "I might try [whatever other suggestions]."Idk. I'm not an expert
-
@eq "don't let the idiots get you" - do you see how that puts it on me?
I trust you mean well, but respectfully: no. The correct response is "men should fight back when they see this amongst themselves."
It isn't my responsibility to "not let them get me down." It's men who need to step up and fight this battle.
@vkc @eq Even if that were an option, we are frequently talking about attention that goes far beyond human-scale. Individuals are not equipped to process let alone cope with the volume of negative attention that someone can be subjected to the moment that some internet angrymans decide to make it a part of their lifestyle to make someone else's life unpleasant.
This is a social problem with communal implications, not an individual problem that someone should be able to traverse without support.
-
Do you think this should be separate from the #FediBlock system already in place or in addition?
@StingrayBadger @NJWookie @vkc I don't think she's talking only about mechanisms to put in the fediverse, but also to fight this shit in every corner of life.
If everyone was willing to fight this everywhere, anywhere, anytime, we shouldn't have to create a whistle to pile on the problem if we're not online or awake: all bystanders would stand up promptly at the very moment a turd jumps out his cesspit.
-
Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc fwiw you’re a great presence online and I will be checking out peertube more largely because you’re putting content on there
-
Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc
gah!!! so sorry to hear that. -
@moondog548 you might be interested in this - after the trigger warnings, the relevant part is at the 30 minute mark.
-
Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc this place is, sadly, super fucking misogynist as a whole. I'm sorry you've received some of the worst of it
️ -
Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc I am so sorry that you had to deal with this.
-
@vkc no it is not and quite frankly your response is quite obnoxious. If we can't talk about problems collectively on this shithole platform and only talk about one thing at a time than it becomes loose islands among the rest of the sewage, but fine whatever. Thank you for proving my point about how hostile this place is becoming with all you morons whining, but yet do this type of shit. Anyways, enjoy the block. I generally don't care.
@alex02 @vkc you may, or may not, have a point about some people being hostile to Gen Z
I'm not the right person to comment on that because I've had no experience of it one way or the other but hijacking a thread about sexual harrasment for your own issues and being hostile when it's pointed out you are off topic is frankly, obnoxious in itself
Then there is the fact you come here complaining about "whiney bitches" on this thread of all things
Complete failure to read the room right there
-
@StingrayBadger @NJWookie @vkc I don't think she's talking only about mechanisms to put in the fediverse, but also to fight this shit in every corner of life.
If everyone was willing to fight this everywhere, anywhere, anytime, we shouldn't have to create a whistle to pile on the problem if we're not online or awake: all bystanders would stand up promptly at the very moment a turd jumps out his cesspit.
@gabriel @StingrayBadger @vkc For sure but me fighting IRL where I live might not do much for someone who lives thousands of miles away. Also harassment often comes from those who don’t act that way IRL. Hiding behind the keyboard allows many to let the worst of themselves out when they normally hide that in the real world.
-
Do you think this should be separate from the #FediBlock system already in place or in addition?
@StingrayBadger @vkc Perhaps. Blocking just takes a bad actor and turns them towards their next target. Fighting occupies the bad actor and drowns them out.
-
@moondog548 you might be interested in this - after the trigger warnings, the relevant part is at the 30 minute mark.
-
Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc I had been tracking out what I considered to be sexually harassment or predatory behaviour happening on my fedi buddle recently, many times happening in a somewhat veiled manner.
My conclusion is that people actually protect each other, normalise those behaviours amongst communities. Some people's entire m.o. is to be thirsting over several (often cis) women in a community.
Even worst, in environments where people will discuss sexual content, the lines blur and discomfort becomes expected.
Am in solidarity with you and also hope people who are currently enabling this behaviour take action instead of leaving women to fight and treat these situations as isolated occurrences and not an aspect of the culture.
-
@gabriel @StingrayBadger @vkc For sure but me fighting IRL where I live might not do much for someone who lives thousands of miles away. Also harassment often comes from those who don’t act that way IRL. Hiding behind the keyboard allows many to let the worst of themselves out when they normally hide that in the real world.
@NJWookie @StingrayBadger @vkc I was not telling that to / about you.
I was making the point that what it needs to change is the men all across the board, and make that fight a natural reflex in any environment, so that it doesn't require a hashtag with notifications for a bunch of select miniroty, but just some, **any** decent human being walking by.
