Try one in your world today
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Ring of invisibility. Makes you invisible, but makes everyone else invisible to you as well.
Or makes you smell horrible. Yes I just stole this from ‘cruelty squad’.
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Periapt of health: this is a small vial with a red liquid inside attached to a small chain. While wearing this, all diseases that you would otherwise contract enter the small vial instead. If the vial is broken, the closest creature will immediately contract all diseases contained within.
Deck of many things (used): the previous owners of this deck got all that they could have wished for. The remaining cards might not be the best.
Ring of mind shielding: the creator of this ring was a bit over-zealous. Along with the usual effects, this ring will censor violence, sex, and other uncouth things.
Cloak of the bat: along with the usual effects, wearing this cloak will also make you speak bat. You will only be able to produce high-pitched squeaks.
Portable hole: this portable hole is bottomless! Anything that falls down the hole is lost forever.
The periapt of health also keeps you from the fun effects of drugs (including alcohol); not useless, but keeps working for 24 hours after you take it off
Deck of many uncomfortable things Normal mix of good and bad, weak and powerful, but as an example: the two dueling demon lords it spawned aren’t fighting for power or honor; this is a domestic dispute between two extremely intimate (succubus intestines can do what? Why? WHY?) supernaturally-dickish immortals who have been emotionally abusing each other for a thousand years, and they’re airing all their dirty laundry. Take sides if you dare.
Ring of mind shielding: Also shields you from anything uncomfortable; you do not gain xp. (Yeah yours is better)
Ring of mind shielding (extremely racist): you can’t see elves’ faces now. you’re welcome.
Portable hole: It’s soft, meaty, and contains multiple (always closed) giant sphincters. Sometimes shudders. Otherwise functions normally. So far.
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Wand of wishes. It’s great, but it will respond to any speaker in the vicinity
Wand of wishes, but gives you what you actually want right now.
Yeah, you need a bridge, but you’re fatigued, so on some level what you really want is a hot bath and a warm bed; maybe some soup.
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Ring of invisibility. Makes you invisible, but makes everyone else invisible to you as well.
But people can see your footsteps cartoon style
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Wand of Wonder What This Does
A regular wand of wonder that comes with a gambling addiction.
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Ring of invisibility. Makes you invisible, but makes everyone else invisible to you as well.
Ring of (Logical) Invisibility v2. Makes you invisible except for your eye balls so that they can absorb light. You may now see but you appear as a pair of floating eyeballs.
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Wand of wishes, but gives you what you actually want right now.
Yeah, you need a bridge, but you’re fatigued, so on some level what you really want is a hot bath and a warm bed; maybe some soup.
Worst thing ever, don’t even want it. Would ruin my life
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Ring of invisibility. Makes you invisible, but makes everyone else invisible to you as well.
Ring of minor invisibility - The ring is invisible, and only makes your body invisible, not any of your stuff
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Sword of charisma: But it attracts bugs for some reason.
Amulet of protection: Stops heals too.
Boots of speed: Brakes not included.
Wand of light: Slightly radioactive.
Potion of restoration: Removes buffs as well, kills undead.
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Immovable Rod: Only one end of the rod is fixed in space, the other end swings freely.
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Sword of charisma: But it attracts bugs for some reason.
Amulet of protection: Stops heals too.
Boots of speed: Brakes not included.
Wand of light: Slightly radioactive.
Potion of restoration: Removes buffs as well, kills undead.
There was an older barbarian subclass that was immune to magic including beneficial magic. It was dumb and wonderful
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Helm of Invincibility: you are invincible, but only to people who have Vince in their name, e.g. Vince, Vincent, some other name with Vince
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I gifted my party a sapient dagger. It was really good too. It was a 1d6 but let you attack again, but rolling a 5 or less on the die makes you insane because the dagger insults the user so badly for missing. If it happened 12 times, the character died. They used it from level 3 or 4 through the end of the campaign at level 18, since there was no cap on how often you could attack again.
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Helm of Invincibility: you are invincible, but only to people who have Vince in their name, e.g. Vince, Vincent, some other name with Vince
It is I Vincenzo The Dragon Smiter, prepare to die!
Donk.
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Reminds me of this CalebCity’s sketch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8Mh9LPNAkI
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Arrows of Accuracy: These arrows will always hit. Starting from the target, then out from that point, the hit roll is checked against defenses.
If nobody is hit, the arrow strikes the firer.
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Ring of protection. Grants everyone around you protection in a fairly large radius. Might be useful for long range combat, maybe. Might also be useful to navigating certain environmental hazards.
Boots of Flying. They can fly, but only have a carry weight of a few pounds. If you’re more than say ten pounds, the little wings flap but gain no altitude. They are not autonomous. Might be useful in condunction with other magics to reduce weight.
Gauntlets of Ogre Might. Do not affect strength. They do tell you the odds of nearby ogres taking particular actions. They might do this, they might do that, and so on.
Hammer of Striking. Social bonuses when organizing labor. Combat bonuses only when near many allies.
Boots of Haste. Gain extra actions but large penalties to all checks. Haste makes waste. May be useful if combined with large bonuses or fixed outcomes (eg: DND diviner wizard).
Hammer of Striking. Social bonuses when organizing labor. Combat bonuses only when near many allies.
Pair this with the Sickle of Means. Does double damage and gives Ranger favored enemy bonuses against employers, nobility, land owners and clerics, so long as the wielder forswears ever becoming any of those things. When used to harvest grain, doubles the speed at which grain can be harvested and magically doubles the final yield of the harvest as well. However, if the grain is not freely and equitably distributed (especially if the wielder charges for it), the next time they use the sickle they will immediately fumble and critically hit themselves for max damage.
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I can’t see any of these working as intended. Clowns don’t subscribe to reality
Spawn them as a distraction!
Some of them cause a big distraction that accidentally points directly towards those you don’t want to be seen.
Use them to hide!
One of them will look giant and big to hide you while the others honk and gesture/point behind, clearly showing where you are.
Build yourself a mountain of clowns to scale any wall!
Crabs in a bucket. None will let you climb. You must stay to hear their jokes…
Never starve again with their endless supply of pies!
Shaving cream pies. Ain’t nobody got time to bake 30 coconut creams
Use their weight to bring down any air-/ship
They all blow up helium balloons to help it float. Unless you want it to float in which case their balloons turn into bowling balls at the last second with a big shrug.
Air drop them on their enemies!
See balloons
Just crush your entire party by spawning hundreds of them in a closed room!
Clown car logic. You’re all “crushed” but it’s just extremely difficult terrain.
Exactly this. Also, one of the clowns will have a trombone to play sad trombone noises at you.
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Not quite the same, but a Paladin in a campaign I was in once bought a Shield of Missile Attraction for cheap because the shopkeep thought it was cursed.
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Immovable Rod: Only one end of the rod is fixed in space, the other end swings freely.
That’s awesome actually. Would be incredibly useful in a shop.
