EXTRA EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT THOSE DUMB FUCKS!
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I’m running a PF2 campaign where the party are outlaws running around Alkenstar, robbing banks and seeking vengeance.
Every day begins with some newspaper headlines. One will be about them if they did something substantial or noticeable, but I have a ton of fluff ready to insert. Some is story related foreshadowing, some is just stuff like “Prices of apples are up 2% after news of heavy rain in Geb’s south has washed away too many skeleton fruit pickers”
Hmm.
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Hmm.
The problem is getting an army of undead. If a level 20 wizard uses all their spell slots on reasserting Animate Dead every day, that’s 128 skeletons. They’d presumably be untrained laborers making 2 sp a day, so it’s 25.6 gp a day. You’d be the world’s poorest level 20 wizard.
If you want a proper army, your options are having a whole bunch of necromancers, a Lich using its Lair Actions to regenerate spell slots, the Wand of Orcus, or using Finger of Death to murder people for years. And that last one only gets you zombies.
Edit: It’s 142 skeletons if you’re a necromancer wizard thanks to Undead Thrall giving you an extra pile of bones.
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its almost as if those that control the message control society
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Awesome idea! I’m gonna do this the next time I run a campaign!
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The problem is getting an army of undead. If a level 20 wizard uses all their spell slots on reasserting Animate Dead every day, that’s 128 skeletons. They’d presumably be untrained laborers making 2 sp a day, so it’s 25.6 gp a day. You’d be the world’s poorest level 20 wizard.
If you want a proper army, your options are having a whole bunch of necromancers, a Lich using its Lair Actions to regenerate spell slots, the Wand of Orcus, or using Finger of Death to murder people for years. And that last one only gets you zombies.
Edit: It’s 142 skeletons if you’re a necromancer wizard thanks to Undead Thrall giving you an extra pile of bones.
Cast wish
Wish for army of undead
Done
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Hmm.
army of skeletons to conquer the world: capitalism style
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Cast wish
Wish for army of undead
Done
oof ouch what did you do to my bones
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definitely pitching this to my DM for the upcoming Eberron campaign; we’ve been watching Legend of Korra for vibes and inspiration, and the recaps in that show were perfectly fit for the setting
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The problem is getting an army of undead. If a level 20 wizard uses all their spell slots on reasserting Animate Dead every day, that’s 128 skeletons. They’d presumably be untrained laborers making 2 sp a day, so it’s 25.6 gp a day. You’d be the world’s poorest level 20 wizard.
If you want a proper army, your options are having a whole bunch of necromancers, a Lich using its Lair Actions to regenerate spell slots, the Wand of Orcus, or using Finger of Death to murder people for years. And that last one only gets you zombies.
Edit: It’s 142 skeletons if you’re a necromancer wizard thanks to Undead Thrall giving you an extra pile of bones.
Only if you send them to work somewhere else and have them give you their pay.
If you are their “employer” you can make much more than 2sp per day from them.
A good capitalist can make 10x or even 100x of what they pay their employees off their work.
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Only if you send them to work somewhere else and have them give you their pay.
If you are their “employer” you can make much more than 2sp per day from them.
A good capitalist can make 10x or even 100x of what they pay their employees off their work.
Also, they work 24/7. Even if they worked for someone else, they’d do at least double or triple shifts, depending if they’re 12h or 8h, netting far more than 2sp.
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The problem is getting an army of undead. If a level 20 wizard uses all their spell slots on reasserting Animate Dead every day, that’s 128 skeletons. They’d presumably be untrained laborers making 2 sp a day, so it’s 25.6 gp a day. You’d be the world’s poorest level 20 wizard.
If you want a proper army, your options are having a whole bunch of necromancers, a Lich using its Lair Actions to regenerate spell slots, the Wand of Orcus, or using Finger of Death to murder people for years. And that last one only gets you zombies.
Edit: It’s 142 skeletons if you’re a necromancer wizard thanks to Undead Thrall giving you an extra pile of bones.
Without going into homebrew or Wish territory (as the former is table-dependent and the latter is DM-dependent), Finger of Death creates an undead that is permanently under your command.
Being a 6th level spell, a 20th level caster can cast it six times per day (by spending all their higher level slots casting that spell exclusively), which means that, provided you have a steady supply of humanoids to cast the spell on, you could have six undeads per day, or 180 per month. In a year, that’s 2190 undeads, which is itself a small army. Give it some time, and you’d have a small country following your commands.
At that point there are only two problems: time itself (which can be solved with features that increase your lifespan, such as Boon of Immortality), and other people trying to stop you (which can be solved by using your spell slots to make them regret their decision).
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oof ouch what did you do to my bones
A quick greater restoration should fix that
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Hmm.
The problem comes in when the necromancers promise skeletons for manual labor stuff to make society better, then they take public funding and ultimately the skeletons start making soulless derivative art and writing plays/stories that barely (or don’t) make sense.
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A quick greater restoration should fix that
OOF OUCH NOT THOSE BONES
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They’re called “broadsheets.”
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The problem is getting an army of undead. If a level 20 wizard uses all their spell slots on reasserting Animate Dead every day, that’s 128 skeletons. They’d presumably be untrained laborers making 2 sp a day, so it’s 25.6 gp a day. You’d be the world’s poorest level 20 wizard.
If you want a proper army, your options are having a whole bunch of necromancers, a Lich using its Lair Actions to regenerate spell slots, the Wand of Orcus, or using Finger of Death to murder people for years. And that last one only gets you zombies.
Edit: It’s 142 skeletons if you’re a necromancer wizard thanks to Undead Thrall giving you an extra pile of bones.
All you really need is some boy skeletons, some girl skeletons, a lot of alcohol and some sexy music
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Hmm.
This is functionally what Fellmarrow is doing in Narrative Declaration’s Kingmaker 2e actual play.
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Only if you send them to work somewhere else and have them give you their pay.
If you are their “employer” you can make much more than 2sp per day from them.
A good capitalist can make 10x or even 100x of what they pay their employees off their work.
You have to be a really good capitalist. If anyone could do that, they’d bid up the price of employees until the companies can barely turn a profit. And at that point, the skeletons barely help.
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Also, they work 24/7. Even if they worked for someone else, they’d do at least double or triple shifts, depending if they’re 12h or 8h, netting far more than 2sp.
Do they? In 3.5, undead didn’t need to sleep, but 5e doesn’t seem to have rules for that.
Even if you’re making 85.2 gp a day, that’s a pittance for a level 20 wizard.
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The problem comes in when the necromancers promise skeletons for manual labor stuff to make society better, then they take public funding and ultimately the skeletons start making soulless derivative art and writing plays/stories that barely (or don’t) make sense.
We are working on making it better, we just need to use up more and more mana to train the skeletons
