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Wandering Adventure Party

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  3. EXTRA EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT THOSE DUMB FUCKS!

EXTRA EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT THOSE DUMB FUCKS!

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  • G granitem@lemmy.world

    Hmm.

    heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH This user is from outside of this forum
    heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH This user is from outside of this forum
    heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.world
    wrote last edited by
    #12

    army of skeletons to conquer the world: capitalism style

    1 Reply Last reply
    3
    • A arrow74@lemmy.zip

      Cast wish

      Wish for army of undead

      Done

      heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH This user is from outside of this forum
      heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH This user is from outside of this forum
      heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.world
      wrote last edited by
      #13

      oof ouch what did you do to my bones

      A 1 Reply Last reply
      6
      • S stamets@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        kreekybonez@sh.itjust.worksK This user is from outside of this forum
        kreekybonez@sh.itjust.worksK This user is from outside of this forum
        kreekybonez@sh.itjust.works
        wrote last edited by
        #14

        definitely pitching this to my DM for the upcoming Eberron campaign; we’ve been watching Legend of Korra for vibes and inspiration, and the recaps in that show were perfectly fit for the setting

        1 Reply Last reply
        5
        • A archpawn@lemmy.world

          The problem is getting an army of undead. If a level 20 wizard uses all their spell slots on reasserting Animate Dead every day, that’s 128 skeletons. They’d presumably be untrained laborers making 2 sp a day, so it’s 25.6 gp a day. You’d be the world’s poorest level 20 wizard.

          If you want a proper army, your options are having a whole bunch of necromancers, a Lich using its Lair Actions to regenerate spell slots, the Wand of Orcus, or using Finger of Death to murder people for years. And that last one only gets you zombies.

          Edit: It’s 142 skeletons if you’re a necromancer wizard thanks to Undead Thrall giving you an extra pile of bones.

          S This user is from outside of this forum
          S This user is from outside of this forum
          squaresinger@lemmy.world
          wrote last edited by
          #15

          Only if you send them to work somewhere else and have them give you their pay.

          If you are their “employer” you can make much more than 2sp per day from them.

          A good capitalist can make 10x or even 100x of what they pay their employees off their work.

          P A 2 Replies Last reply
          7
          • S squaresinger@lemmy.world

            Only if you send them to work somewhere else and have them give you their pay.

            If you are their “employer” you can make much more than 2sp per day from them.

            A good capitalist can make 10x or even 100x of what they pay their employees off their work.

            P This user is from outside of this forum
            P This user is from outside of this forum
            punkibas@lemmy.zip
            wrote last edited by
            #16

            Also, they work 24/7. Even if they worked for someone else, they’d do at least double or triple shifts, depending if they’re 12h or 8h, netting far more than 2sp.

            A 1 Reply Last reply
            8
            • A archpawn@lemmy.world

              The problem is getting an army of undead. If a level 20 wizard uses all their spell slots on reasserting Animate Dead every day, that’s 128 skeletons. They’d presumably be untrained laborers making 2 sp a day, so it’s 25.6 gp a day. You’d be the world’s poorest level 20 wizard.

              If you want a proper army, your options are having a whole bunch of necromancers, a Lich using its Lair Actions to regenerate spell slots, the Wand of Orcus, or using Finger of Death to murder people for years. And that last one only gets you zombies.

              Edit: It’s 142 skeletons if you’re a necromancer wizard thanks to Undead Thrall giving you an extra pile of bones.

              Aielman15A This user is from outside of this forum
              Aielman15A This user is from outside of this forum
              Aielman15
              wrote last edited by
              #17

              Without going into homebrew or Wish territory (as the former is table-dependent and the latter is DM-dependent), Finger of Death creates an undead that is permanently under your command.

              Being a 6th level spell, a 20th level caster can cast it six times per day (by spending all their higher level slots casting that spell exclusively), which means that, provided you have a steady supply of humanoids to cast the spell on, you could have six undeads per day, or 180 per month. In a year, that’s 2190 undeads, which is itself a small army. Give it some time, and you’d have a small country following your commands.

              At that point there are only two problems: time itself (which can be solved with features that increase your lifespan, such as Boon of Immortality), and other people trying to stop you (which can be solved by using your spell slots to make them regret their decision).

              A D 2 Replies Last reply
              4
              • heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.world

                oof ouch what did you do to my bones

                A This user is from outside of this forum
                A This user is from outside of this forum
                arrow74@lemmy.zip
                wrote last edited by
                #18

                A quick greater restoration should fix that

                heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH 1 Reply Last reply
                1
                • G granitem@lemmy.world

                  Hmm.

                  M This user is from outside of this forum
                  M This user is from outside of this forum
                  majorasterriblefate@lemmy.zip
                  wrote last edited by
                  #19

                  The problem comes in when the necromancers promise skeletons for manual labor stuff to make society better, then they take public funding and ultimately the skeletons start making soulless derivative art and writing plays/stories that barely (or don’t) make sense.

                  S 1 Reply Last reply
                  7
                  • A arrow74@lemmy.zip

                    A quick greater restoration should fix that

                    heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH This user is from outside of this forum
                    heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.worldH This user is from outside of this forum
                    heythisisnttheymca@lemmy.world
                    wrote last edited by
                    #20

                    OOF OUCH NOT THOSE BONES

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    1
                    • S stamets@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                      E This user is from outside of this forum
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                      etterra@discuss.online
                      wrote last edited by
                      #21

                      They’re called “broadsheets.”

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      1
                      • A archpawn@lemmy.world

                        The problem is getting an army of undead. If a level 20 wizard uses all their spell slots on reasserting Animate Dead every day, that’s 128 skeletons. They’d presumably be untrained laborers making 2 sp a day, so it’s 25.6 gp a day. You’d be the world’s poorest level 20 wizard.

                        If you want a proper army, your options are having a whole bunch of necromancers, a Lich using its Lair Actions to regenerate spell slots, the Wand of Orcus, or using Finger of Death to murder people for years. And that last one only gets you zombies.

                        Edit: It’s 142 skeletons if you’re a necromancer wizard thanks to Undead Thrall giving you an extra pile of bones.

                        moondoggie@lemmy.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
                        moondoggie@lemmy.worldM This user is from outside of this forum
                        moondoggie@lemmy.world
                        wrote last edited by
                        #22

                        All you really need is some boy skeletons, some girl skeletons, a lot of alcohol and some sexy music

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        2
                        • G granitem@lemmy.world

                          Hmm.

                          KichaeK Offline
                          KichaeK Offline
                          Kichae
                          Forum Master
                          wrote last edited by
                          #23

                          This is functionally what Fellmarrow is doing in Narrative Declaration’s Kingmaker 2e actual play.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • S squaresinger@lemmy.world

                            Only if you send them to work somewhere else and have them give you their pay.

                            If you are their “employer” you can make much more than 2sp per day from them.

                            A good capitalist can make 10x or even 100x of what they pay their employees off their work.

                            A This user is from outside of this forum
                            A This user is from outside of this forum
                            archpawn@lemmy.world
                            wrote last edited by
                            #24

                            You have to be a really good capitalist. If anyone could do that, they’d bid up the price of employees until the companies can barely turn a profit. And at that point, the skeletons barely help.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • P punkibas@lemmy.zip

                              Also, they work 24/7. Even if they worked for someone else, they’d do at least double or triple shifts, depending if they’re 12h or 8h, netting far more than 2sp.

                              A This user is from outside of this forum
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                              archpawn@lemmy.world
                              wrote last edited by
                              #25

                              Do they? In 3.5, undead didn’t need to sleep, but 5e doesn’t seem to have rules for that.

                              Even if you’re making 85.2 gp a day, that’s a pittance for a level 20 wizard.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              2
                              • M majorasterriblefate@lemmy.zip

                                The problem comes in when the necromancers promise skeletons for manual labor stuff to make society better, then they take public funding and ultimately the skeletons start making soulless derivative art and writing plays/stories that barely (or don’t) make sense.

                                S This user is from outside of this forum
                                S This user is from outside of this forum
                                SkaveRat
                                wrote last edited by
                                #26

                                We are working on making it better, we just need to use up more and more mana to train the skeletons

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                2
                                • Aielman15A Aielman15

                                  Without going into homebrew or Wish territory (as the former is table-dependent and the latter is DM-dependent), Finger of Death creates an undead that is permanently under your command.

                                  Being a 6th level spell, a 20th level caster can cast it six times per day (by spending all their higher level slots casting that spell exclusively), which means that, provided you have a steady supply of humanoids to cast the spell on, you could have six undeads per day, or 180 per month. In a year, that’s 2190 undeads, which is itself a small army. Give it some time, and you’d have a small country following your commands.

                                  At that point there are only two problems: time itself (which can be solved with features that increase your lifespan, such as Boon of Immortality), and other people trying to stop you (which can be solved by using your spell slots to make them regret their decision).

                                  A This user is from outside of this forum
                                  A This user is from outside of this forum
                                  archpawn@lemmy.world
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #27

                                  I did list that, but doing the math is helpful. This is less useful for labor, but you could use executions or assisted suicide. If aging in their universe is anything like ours, I imagine there’d be no shortage of good people who’d rather go to heaven and donate their money to charity than spend it supporting themselves as they slowly and painfully die, but even in 3.5 where there were downsides to old age, the worst it got was +3 wisdom and -6 strength. Commoner was a class, so they’d roll ability scores and someone could have a Strength of 4, but they could also level up and improve their ability scores.

                                  The other problem is that they’re making zombies, not skeletons, and there’s no rule that zombies decay into skeletons or anything like that. Though I suppose if we’re playing RAW, there’s no rule that zombies decay at all or are unsanitary.

                                  D 1 Reply Last reply
                                  2
                                  • Aielman15A Aielman15

                                    Without going into homebrew or Wish territory (as the former is table-dependent and the latter is DM-dependent), Finger of Death creates an undead that is permanently under your command.

                                    Being a 6th level spell, a 20th level caster can cast it six times per day (by spending all their higher level slots casting that spell exclusively), which means that, provided you have a steady supply of humanoids to cast the spell on, you could have six undeads per day, or 180 per month. In a year, that’s 2190 undeads, which is itself a small army. Give it some time, and you’d have a small country following your commands.

                                    At that point there are only two problems: time itself (which can be solved with features that increase your lifespan, such as Boon of Immortality), and other people trying to stop you (which can be solved by using your spell slots to make them regret their decision).

                                    D This user is from outside of this forum
                                    D This user is from outside of this forum
                                    Droechai
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #28

                                    Then again, why bother being a powerful wizard if you still need to work raising undead on weekends and bank holidays?

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • A archpawn@lemmy.world

                                      I did list that, but doing the math is helpful. This is less useful for labor, but you could use executions or assisted suicide. If aging in their universe is anything like ours, I imagine there’d be no shortage of good people who’d rather go to heaven and donate their money to charity than spend it supporting themselves as they slowly and painfully die, but even in 3.5 where there were downsides to old age, the worst it got was +3 wisdom and -6 strength. Commoner was a class, so they’d roll ability scores and someone could have a Strength of 4, but they could also level up and improve their ability scores.

                                      The other problem is that they’re making zombies, not skeletons, and there’s no rule that zombies decay into skeletons or anything like that. Though I suppose if we’re playing RAW, there’s no rule that zombies decay at all or are unsanitary.

                                      D This user is from outside of this forum
                                      D This user is from outside of this forum
                                      Droechai
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #29

                                      Hmm, if you store the zombies in differen environs maybe they will “poke-evolve” into new forms? A zombie in ordinary conditions turn into a skeleton and if its stored in salt or a smoke hut it becomes a mummy (smoke house can also add extra abilites, add liquid smoke for STR bonus, juniper for that wild +DEX or sandalwood for a bit of CHA). Store it as a medical school teaching aid and it will develop an INT score, and if its an exhibition in the museum or library it can be WIS

                                      1 Reply Last reply
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