...Okay so the princess's half of the story is just gonna be A Clockwork Orange, huh? #Monsterdon

The movie: A glaive is a five-pointed magical ninja star

You: A glaive is a polearm

Me, a nerd: A glaive is a bouncy stick with a bug friend

#Monsterdon #MonsterHunter

Oh no, it's the funny companion #Monsterdon

That's what happens when you fail your Wild Magic check. #Monsterdon

...Ergo, huh. We're gonna see too much of him, get Ergo poisoning #Monsterdon

Our hero is being hounded by wandering trumpets. #Monsterdon

Aaaaaand there's a botched stealth check. #Monsterdon

"Is it foolish to fight for your home?"

I dunno, are we getting a lend-lease program? Are the sanctions still up? Do we get Starlink access? #Monsterdon

Oh, he's getting his hand stamped. He gets back in for free. #Monsterdon

Our wizard's kind of a liability here, huh. #Monsterdon

Good to see they're leaving the Redshirts behind. #Monsterdon

So what do you figure the under/over is on Muttonchop Gandalf there eating it before the end of the movie? #Monsterdon

"I'm Titch! I'll be your emotional crutch once my aged master dies and I'm forced to come with you! You'll probably die protecting me! :D" #Monsterdon

"This... *means something*!" #Monsterdon

Y'never look into the Palantir, chief. #Monsterdon

"They said I was mad to build a temple in the swamp! But I built it all the same. The first temple sank into the swamp. So I built another! That one fell over, then sank into the swamp. But I built a THIRD temple and that one caught on fire, fell over and THEN fell into the swamp! But the fourth one stayed up." #Monsterdon

Oh nice, Esther Williams orcs. #Monsterdon

Huh, our hero took Two-handed Fighting as a bonus feat last level up. #Monsterdon

Kid's an apprentice exposition wizard. #Monsterdon

Rell wishes for ignorance, specifically of this obnoxious little wizard nerd. #Monsterdon