MONSTERDON - Dracula, Prisoner of Frankenstein

Looks terrible, let's go! (or, LET'S MUTE! you do you)

Here's the Tubi link:

Dracula, Prisoner of Frankenstein (1972)

Dr. Frankenstein uses his Monster and a captive Count Dracula to abduct a can-can dancer as a test subject for his experiments in world domination.

Tubi (tubitv.com)

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Ask not for whom the bell tolls. Unless you're Frankenstein, then it's probably for you.

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It's fun to be there when Phil the cameraman learns what zoom does

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I love how the director's like "she's supposed to be insane," and the sympathetic make-up people were like, "Then she'll have AMAZING HAIR"

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Weeping man, "Have mercy on all of us, have mercy on all sinners"

Okay so that's the lead writer, in his cameo

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Okay I really love horses but this is a surprising lot of their bums

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Serious question - curious why the windows are barred? Is it the obvious (so no one falls out), or some other reason? In old movies, which are obviously completely historically accurate, I never see those, but I assume this is on location somewhere and those bars are real?

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Ten minutes into every Mastodon movie I have this moment of panic, like, "Okay I know these are supposed to be bad movies, but EVERYONE I THINK THIS MIGHT REALLY BE BAD, DO WE HAVE A PLAN B?"

Like oh god, what did we get ourselves into

Usually this feeling fades about halfway through when it's like, "Oh phew, okay, it's about as bad as average"

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Director: "Okay in this scene we need you to curl up into a fetal position and think about how this movie will look on your resume"

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It's kind of amazing to think how long special effects teams just had to make a bunch of flashing lights in various configurations

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This movie really assumes a lot about my high school French recall

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I remember as a little girl watching movies where every time something scary happened, the woman in the scene fainted, and I thought fainting a lot was definitely something I'd have to deal with when I was older

(see also: quicksand)

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The bat screaming about what the hell has it gotten itself into

US TOO, BAT FRIEND

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He looks like he's trying to do the gallop from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, like who has the coconuts?

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I need the women in this movie to say literally anything

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I'm making the coconut sound with my hands whenever this guy walks

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I've never understood why they need young girls, an adult man has way more blood volume

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My husband: What is it tonight?

Me: Dracula, Prisoner of Frankenstein

My husband: <makes terrible groan noise> OH GEEZ

Me: THAT IS THE CORRECT NOISE

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They can all just sit up straight like that because once you're dead you get amazing abs

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