"We're gonna die!"

You're already dying on film, chief. #Monsterdon

...wait, the master's name is Voldo? The leather freak from Soul Calibur? #Monsterdon

...wait, the master's name is Voldo? The leather freak from Soul Calibur? #Monsterdon

"Water. Sick man. Water." #Monsterdon

...She has explosive boobies? #Monsterdon

They tried to kill him by making him hug a 2x4! #Monsterdon

What the *fuck* just happened? And why was it scored with a calliope? #Monsterdon

What the *fuck* just happened? And why was it scored with a calliope? #Monsterdon

"A lot of re-occuring phrases and symbols"

He's reading the script #Monsterdon

seriously, this is embarrassing #Monsterdon

OH GOD IT ACTUALLY *IS* MERLIN #Monsterdon

Well, that's convenient. #Monsterdon

...She has explosive boobies? #Monsterdon

This makes less sense than the middle two episodes of a 70's Doctor Who saga. #Monsterdon

"You must flee for your lives!"

Nyokay. Byeeee~! #Monsterdon

"Who are you?"

No clue. The plot's as clear as mud. #Monsterdon

Okay the ONE cool thing about this film -- the neon cross. In a better film that would be a symbol of the meeting of the religious and the technological. #Monsterdon

"...Hitler?"

Okay, that was funny. #Monsterdon

Man, these are some weak-ass vampires here. Ken just tossin' 'em about. #Monsterdon

Let's hear it for the birds on the soundtrack! Good job, birds! #Monsterdon