The Bible but TTRPG
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The story of Elisha and the boys deserves to be “nitpicked” as well. I haven’t checked for myself, but from what I understand most secular and non-secular scholars agree that the Hebrew term includes babies all the way to “boys” who are in their twenties. This makes better sense of how the term is used in other passages and of why Elisha would encounter 42 of them (which only counts those who were mauled) just hanging out in the countryside.
While we’re at it, myrrh was a fragrant resin used in all sorts of applications, not just for embalming.
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The ending of that Daniel story is definitely something.
At the king’s command, the men who had falsely accused Daniel were brought in and thrown into the lions’ den, along with their wives and children. And before they reached the floor of the den, the lions overpowered them and crushed all their bones.
That ending written by the Three Stooges writers
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While we’re at it, myrrh was a fragrant resin used in all sorts of applications, not just for embalming.
I guess I’ll keep it going. Moses means “to pull out from the water,” so he wouldn’t have been “Moses” while placing him in the basket.
Also, why would the daughter of the dude supposedly killing all of the slave babies be like, “I’m gonna name this baby using the slaves’ language.”
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DM: Not that one, Job: I have a special d20 just for you!
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There is a convenience store I stop at which has a self help / religious book rack. On it, there is a copy of “The Action Bible”, and, given it’s cover, I assume this is the DMG for OPs campaign.
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The story of Elisha and the boys deserves to be “nitpicked” as well. I haven’t checked for myself, but from what I understand most secular and non-secular scholars agree that the Hebrew term includes babies all the way to “boys” who are in their twenties. This makes better sense of how the term is used in other passages and of why Elisha would encounter 42 of them (which only counts those who were mauled) just hanging out in the countryside.
He was being chased by a gang of young men, not just being made fun of by some random children.
Translation is a scholarly art, and English translations - and the masses understanding of them - are like the restoration of the Ecce Homo fresco.
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I’ll point out that the “Jesus and the fig tree” story is a parable. It’s made fun of a lot, but it’s a vicious lesson by someone who was very theatrical in their teaching style. The fig tree is Israel, who were expected by their god to always be in season and ready for their messiah. But when Jesus arrived, they were not in season, and so were cursed to never bear fruit again. It wasn’t an agricultural misunderstanding, it was a lesson and everything that surrounds it gives it context.
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I’ll point out that the “Jesus and the fig tree” story is a parable. It’s made fun of a lot, but it’s a vicious lesson by someone who was very theatrical in their teaching style. The fig tree is Israel, who were expected by their god to always be in season and ready for their messiah. But when Jesus arrived, they were not in season, and so were cursed to never bear fruit again. It wasn’t an agricultural misunderstanding, it was a lesson and everything that surrounds it gives it context.
Asked one of those “Bible is all literal truth” guys one day, “How did Jesus teach?”
“?”
“He taught in parables, right? Stories that aren’t true, meant to illustrate a point.”
“Ok.”
“Is it possible other Bible stories are parables?”
“?”
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One nitpick- Solomon using demonic assistance to build his Temple is extrabiblical lore. I believe that Solomon’s command over demons might be mentioned in the Talmud, but not in the Bible itself.
That was the one I didn’t get. What’s it about?
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Asked one of those “Bible is all literal truth” guys one day, “How did Jesus teach?”
“?”
“He taught in parables, right? Stories that aren’t true, meant to illustrate a point.”
“Ok.”
“Is it possible other Bible stories are parables?”
“?”
Almost everything in there is a parable. It’s a cultural thing, because stories were only worth preserving as a lesson. The concept of preserving objective reality for its own sake is a very modern and recent ideology. It would have been seen as madness by ancient peoples.
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What is that summon demon one?
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What is that summon demon one?
The Seal of Solomon. Solomon’s signet ring, given to him by God, is supposed to have granted him a bunch of supernatural abilities, one of which was the ability to command things like devils and jinns. I think the story is only part of specific mysticist beliefs within the Abrahamic religions and not in any of the main texts, hence the GM having to check their books for it
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I’ll point out that the “Jesus and the fig tree” story is a parable. It’s made fun of a lot, but it’s a vicious lesson by someone who was very theatrical in their teaching style. The fig tree is Israel, who were expected by their god to always be in season and ready for their messiah. But when Jesus arrived, they were not in season, and so were cursed to never bear fruit again. It wasn’t an agricultural misunderstanding, it was a lesson and everything that surrounds it gives it context.
Also, in the Apocrypha, childhood Jesus turned a kid he didn’t like into a tree. Quite possibly… a fig tree.
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That was the one I didn’t get. What’s it about?
There is a tradition from numerous ancient and medieval sources that Solomon had command over demons because he was the wisest man who ever lived and knew their name and all the ways to control them. This developed into the idea that Solomon had such control over demons that he could force them to build a temple for God against their will, and this is how the First Temple was built. This belief was common in the middle ages but not ever officially sanctioned by the Church.
For more reading-
https://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seal_of_Solomon
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as a roman catholic, i had a good chuckle. hope to see more.
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There is a convenience store I stop at which has a self help / religious book rack. On it, there is a copy of “The Action Bible”, and, given it’s cover, I assume this is the DMG for OPs campaign.
I love how there’s a random cute girl in the top left, no idea who the hell she’s supposed to be, but
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DM: You killed so many people with that donkey bone I think we can stop treating it as an improvised weapon. Here’s a proper statblock.
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The story of Elisha and the boys deserves to be “nitpicked” as well. I haven’t checked for myself, but from what I understand most secular and non-secular scholars agree that the Hebrew term includes babies all the way to “boys” who are in their twenties. This makes better sense of how the term is used in other passages and of why Elisha would encounter 42 of them (which only counts those who were mauled) just hanging out in the countryside.
That’s an apologist’s take not a scholar’s take. Modern translations use “small boys”.
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Asked one of those “Bible is all literal truth” guys one day, “How did Jesus teach?”
“?”
“He taught in parables, right? Stories that aren’t true, meant to illustrate a point.”
“Ok.”
“Is it possible other Bible stories are parables?”
“?”
The parts about feeding poor people are parables. Those stories are metaphors for spiritual poverty. What Jesus fed the hungry was the bread of life, ie, the Gospel. Jesus doesn’t want you to actually feed people, he wants you to preach to them.
Everything else is literal, especially the parts where God created the Earth in its current form in six 24-hour days and decreed there were only two immutable biological genders.
(The prosperity gospel is a hell of a drug. It’s no wonder Trump follows it.)
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Why, thank you! TIL
