Health Experts Warn Americans Not Sensually Eating Enough Fruit

CHICAGO—Calling attention to the startling lack of tied-up cherry stems in the average diet, health experts from the American Medical Association warned Tuesday that Americans were not sensually eating enough fruit. “While it’s recommended that adults erotically suck on at least two pieces of fruit daily, many people are falling far sho…
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https://theonion.com/health-experts-warn-americans-not-sensually-eating-enough-fruit/