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  3. #agile #scrum #tech #softwaredevelopment #meme #funny

#agile #scrum #tech #softwaredevelopment #meme #funny

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agilescrumtechsoftwaredevelopmemefunny
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  • crazyeddieC crazyeddie

    @mwshook @PavelASamsonov It's actually not that bad as a starting point. One of the heavier agile process systems but it's workable and it works within a large business that expects a bunch of process. Has established roles that are well described, which is pretty important if you are required to work within the bounds of a QMS.

    People love to hate on it but it's better than a lot of the alternatives. Provides some structure for leaders who can't seem to come up with any otherwise.

    Magnus AhltorpA This user is from outside of this forum
    Magnus AhltorpA This user is from outside of this forum
    Magnus Ahltorp
    wrote on last edited by
    #10

    @crazyeddie @mwshook @PavelASamsonov There are some things that are useful in Scrum, but those things are usually what gets thrown out first.

    Then there are things like ”velocity” that is some real bullshit.

    And once you have ”leaders” imposing Scrum, it’s not self-organised anymore. So in practice it probably only works when the team is self-organised to begin with, which makes the whole framework have very limited value.

    Robert Kist 🇦🇹🇸🇬K woe2youW 2 Replies Last reply
    0
    • Pavel A. SamsonovP Pavel A. Samsonov

      #agile #scrum #tech #softwaredevelopment #meme #funny

      SalvaS This user is from outside of this forum
      SalvaS This user is from outside of this forum
      Salva
      wrote on last edited by
      #11

      @PavelASamsonov original and non altered:

      Link Preview Image
      Book World

      The Perry Bible Fellowship

      favicon

      The Perry Bible Fellowship (pbfcomics.com)

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • Pavel A. SamsonovP Pavel A. Samsonov

        #agile #scrum #tech #softwaredevelopment #meme #funny

        K This user is from outside of this forum
        K This user is from outside of this forum
        knreddy
        wrote on last edited by
        #12

        @PavelASamsonov
        thats lowkey scarry man 😿

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • Pavel A. SamsonovP Pavel A. Samsonov

          #agile #scrum #tech #softwaredevelopment #meme #funny

          Robert Kist 🇦🇹🇸🇬K This user is from outside of this forum
          Robert Kist 🇦🇹🇸🇬K This user is from outside of this forum
          Robert Kist 🇦🇹🇸🇬
          wrote on last edited by
          #13

          @PavelASamsonov That's the truth about it. I know people who read tons of books about Scrum, yet failed to read the 11 page (certainly not a book!) Scrum Guide, which is really all you ever need to read about it.

          95% of Scrum books just complicate and confuse matters over something that should be really quite simple.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • Magnus AhltorpA Magnus Ahltorp

            @crazyeddie @mwshook @PavelASamsonov There are some things that are useful in Scrum, but those things are usually what gets thrown out first.

            Then there are things like ”velocity” that is some real bullshit.

            And once you have ”leaders” imposing Scrum, it’s not self-organised anymore. So in practice it probably only works when the team is self-organised to begin with, which makes the whole framework have very limited value.

            Robert Kist 🇦🇹🇸🇬K This user is from outside of this forum
            Robert Kist 🇦🇹🇸🇬K This user is from outside of this forum
            Robert Kist 🇦🇹🇸🇬
            wrote on last edited by
            #14

            @ahltorp @crazyeddie @mwshook @PavelASamsonov Velocity has nothing to do with Scrum. It's mentioned exactly 0 times in the Scrum guide. And that is really where the problem with "Scrum" starts... the Scrum-Industrial-Complex tries to sell you all this extra crap on top... (Jira, story points, planning poker, and whatever crap you can turn into a paid-for training...or book!)

            shook.rocks :pdx_badge:M Travis F WT 2 Replies Last reply
            0
            • Robert Kist 🇦🇹🇸🇬K Robert Kist 🇦🇹🇸🇬

              @ahltorp @crazyeddie @mwshook @PavelASamsonov Velocity has nothing to do with Scrum. It's mentioned exactly 0 times in the Scrum guide. And that is really where the problem with "Scrum" starts... the Scrum-Industrial-Complex tries to sell you all this extra crap on top... (Jira, story points, planning poker, and whatever crap you can turn into a paid-for training...or book!)

              shook.rocks :pdx_badge:M This user is from outside of this forum
              shook.rocks :pdx_badge:M This user is from outside of this forum
              shook.rocks :pdx_badge:
              wrote on last edited by
              #15

              @kwramm @ahltorp @crazyeddie @PavelASamsonov I understand very little of what's being said here, but it gives some context to the scene where the newly vampiric quant scrum sits in front of a whiteboard with post-its, listing traditional vampire powers and weaknesses, developing an action plan and assigning members to test them out.

              Pavel A. SamsonovP 1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • shook.rocks :pdx_badge:M shook.rocks :pdx_badge:

                @kwramm @ahltorp @crazyeddie @PavelASamsonov I understand very little of what's being said here, but it gives some context to the scene where the newly vampiric quant scrum sits in front of a whiteboard with post-its, listing traditional vampire powers and weaknesses, developing an action plan and assigning members to test them out.

                Pavel A. SamsonovP This user is from outside of this forum
                Pavel A. SamsonovP This user is from outside of this forum
                Pavel A. Samsonov
                wrote on last edited by
                #16

                @mwshook sounds like Kanban @kwramm @ahltorp @crazyeddie

                crazyeddieC 1 Reply Last reply
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                • Pavel A. SamsonovP Pavel A. Samsonov

                  @mwshook sounds like Kanban @kwramm @ahltorp @crazyeddie

                  crazyeddieC This user is from outside of this forum
                  crazyeddieC This user is from outside of this forum
                  crazyeddie
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #17

                  @PavelASamsonov @mwshook @kwramm @ahltorp A kanban like board is used. Pretty much all the agile methodologies use them. Scrum adds a bunch of other stuff that made it acceptable to PM types when Agile was newer. Now Agile is fairly well recognized as a valid approach to PM.

                  Most teams are probably better off going more the LEAN route than Scrum. LEAN is basically, KanBan+ whatever works--the object to whittle down your process to the bare essentials so you can just make stuff.

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • Robert Kist 🇦🇹🇸🇬K Robert Kist 🇦🇹🇸🇬

                    @ahltorp @crazyeddie @mwshook @PavelASamsonov Velocity has nothing to do with Scrum. It's mentioned exactly 0 times in the Scrum guide. And that is really where the problem with "Scrum" starts... the Scrum-Industrial-Complex tries to sell you all this extra crap on top... (Jira, story points, planning poker, and whatever crap you can turn into a paid-for training...or book!)

                    Travis F WT This user is from outside of this forum
                    Travis F WT This user is from outside of this forum
                    Travis F W
                    wrote last edited by
                    #18

                    @kwramm @ahltorp @crazyeddie @mwshook @PavelASamsonov for the record, "rock solid velocity" was the end-goal of James Shore's version of Agile (not Scrum), which I have always appreciated.

                    Magnus AhltorpA 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • crazyeddieC crazyeddie

                      @mwshook @PavelASamsonov It's actually not that bad as a starting point. One of the heavier agile process systems but it's workable and it works within a large business that expects a bunch of process. Has established roles that are well described, which is pretty important if you are required to work within the bounds of a QMS.

                      People love to hate on it but it's better than a lot of the alternatives. Provides some structure for leaders who can't seem to come up with any otherwise.

                      Sam Livingston-GrayG This user is from outside of this forum
                      Sam Livingston-GrayG This user is from outside of this forum
                      Sam Livingston-Gray
                      wrote last edited by
                      #19

                      @crazyeddie @mwshook @PavelASamsonov as process, it's tolerable(ish), but the trap is that it is entirely agnostic to the rigorous technical practices that made early XP teams successful—so it's up to the people doing the actual work to maintain internal quality in the face of pressure from clueless MBA types to "make number go up."

                      But hey, let's tag in @jamesshore for fun. Hi, Jim! 👋🏻

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • shook.rocks :pdx_badge:M shook.rocks :pdx_badge:

                        @PavelASamsonov Wow. I haveread Charles Stross's "The Rhesus Chart", the 5th book of the Laundry Files, where a scrum of amoral investment bank quants turn into vampires. I figured scrum was generic British slang for an office team. Now after 30 seconds of googling for agile scrum I am truly chilled to the bone.

                        Cadbury MooseC This user is from outside of this forum
                        Cadbury MooseC This user is from outside of this forum
                        Cadbury Moose
                        wrote last edited by
                        #20

                        @mwshook @PavelASamsonov

                        The Laundry books are like that, a nice Lovecraftian (or other) horror story spliced with Cold War bureaucracy and IT.

                        This moose got nowhere near "death march" programming and Agile, but did have to endure ISO9000/BS5750 and "Lean", plus "Race to the bottom" Outsourcing/Offshoring, "Everything at the cheapest possible price", and every problem/change management system being worse than the one before.

                        I'm retired now. I have no regrets.

                        Pavel A. SamsonovP 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • shook.rocks :pdx_badge:M shook.rocks :pdx_badge:

                          @PavelASamsonov Wow. I haveread Charles Stross's "The Rhesus Chart", the 5th book of the Laundry Files, where a scrum of amoral investment bank quants turn into vampires. I figured scrum was generic British slang for an office team. Now after 30 seconds of googling for agile scrum I am truly chilled to the bone.

                          Michael ValkenbergV This user is from outside of this forum
                          Michael ValkenbergV This user is from outside of this forum
                          Michael Valkenberg
                          wrote last edited by
                          #21

                          @mwshook I always thought the collective noun for a group of bankers should be „a wunch“.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • Pavel A. SamsonovP Pavel A. Samsonov

                            #agile #scrum #tech #softwaredevelopment #meme #funny

                            J This user is from outside of this forum
                            J This user is from outside of this forum
                            johnrohde
                            wrote last edited by
                            #22

                            @PavelASamsonov @cstross SCRUM were a nice common sense idea once. Then management and consultants got hold of it.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • Magnus AhltorpA Magnus Ahltorp

                              @crazyeddie @mwshook @PavelASamsonov There are some things that are useful in Scrum, but those things are usually what gets thrown out first.

                              Then there are things like ”velocity” that is some real bullshit.

                              And once you have ”leaders” imposing Scrum, it’s not self-organised anymore. So in practice it probably only works when the team is self-organised to begin with, which makes the whole framework have very limited value.

                              woe2youW This user is from outside of this forum
                              woe2youW This user is from outside of this forum
                              woe2you
                              wrote last edited by
                              #23

                              @ahltorp @crazyeddie @mwshook @PavelASamsonov It's all just "we suck at gathering requirements and writing specifications so we're going to dress that up as a virtue and give it a fancy name".

                              Magnus AhltorpA 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • Travis F WT Travis F W

                                @kwramm @ahltorp @crazyeddie @mwshook @PavelASamsonov for the record, "rock solid velocity" was the end-goal of James Shore's version of Agile (not Scrum), which I have always appreciated.

                                Magnus AhltorpA This user is from outside of this forum
                                Magnus AhltorpA This user is from outside of this forum
                                Magnus Ahltorp
                                wrote last edited by
                                #24

                                @travisfw @kwramm The ”immutable” Scrum Guide has been updated(!) many times since I was doing anything called Scrum more than 15 years ago, and conveniently that version of the document seems hard to find, but I believe you. But even the current Scrum Guide says that ”Other sources provide patterns, processes, and insights that complement the Scrum framework”.

                                Magnus AhltorpA 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • Magnus AhltorpA Magnus Ahltorp

                                  @travisfw @kwramm The ”immutable” Scrum Guide has been updated(!) many times since I was doing anything called Scrum more than 15 years ago, and conveniently that version of the document seems hard to find, but I believe you. But even the current Scrum Guide says that ”Other sources provide patterns, processes, and insights that complement the Scrum framework”.

                                  Magnus AhltorpA This user is from outside of this forum
                                  Magnus AhltorpA This user is from outside of this forum
                                  Magnus Ahltorp
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #25

                                  @travisfw @kwramm Velocity has been part of the Scrum story since at least then, and saying that it isn’t Scrum is like saying Trump isn’t president of the US because there’s no mention of him in the constitution.

                                  Magnus AhltorpA 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • woe2youW woe2you

                                    @ahltorp @crazyeddie @mwshook @PavelASamsonov It's all just "we suck at gathering requirements and writing specifications so we're going to dress that up as a virtue and give it a fancy name".

                                    Magnus AhltorpA This user is from outside of this forum
                                    Magnus AhltorpA This user is from outside of this forum
                                    Magnus Ahltorp
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #26

                                    @woe2you It’s not only ”we suck at gathering requirements”, it’s also ”it’s often not meaningful to gather requirements in a vacuum”. Those are actually among the good parts, having stakeholder representation in the team. ”Fancy name” is among the bad parts.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • Magnus AhltorpA Magnus Ahltorp

                                      @travisfw @kwramm Velocity has been part of the Scrum story since at least then, and saying that it isn’t Scrum is like saying Trump isn’t president of the US because there’s no mention of him in the constitution.

                                      Magnus AhltorpA This user is from outside of this forum
                                      Magnus AhltorpA This user is from outside of this forum
                                      Magnus Ahltorp
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #27

                                      @travisfw @kwramm According to Wikipedia, the ”Scrum Guide” has only existed since 2009. Is that true? If it’s true, what holy document were people using before that to say what was Scrum and what wasn’t?

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • Cadbury MooseC Cadbury Moose

                                        @mwshook @PavelASamsonov

                                        The Laundry books are like that, a nice Lovecraftian (or other) horror story spliced with Cold War bureaucracy and IT.

                                        This moose got nowhere near "death march" programming and Agile, but did have to endure ISO9000/BS5750 and "Lean", plus "Race to the bottom" Outsourcing/Offshoring, "Everything at the cheapest possible price", and every problem/change management system being worse than the one before.

                                        I'm retired now. I have no regrets.

                                        Pavel A. SamsonovP This user is from outside of this forum
                                        Pavel A. SamsonovP This user is from outside of this forum
                                        Pavel A. Samsonov
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #28

                                        @Cadbury_Moose @mwshook If you liked Laundry Files you might like The Rook, Antimemetics Division, and Monday Begins on Saturday.

                                        Jay StephensJ 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • Pavel A. SamsonovP Pavel A. Samsonov

                                          @Cadbury_Moose @mwshook If you liked Laundry Files you might like The Rook, Antimemetics Division, and Monday Begins on Saturday.

                                          Jay StephensJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                          Jay StephensJ This user is from outside of this forum
                                          Jay Stephens
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #29

                                          @PavelASamsonov @Cadbury_Moose @mwshook
                                          +1 for antimemetics division

                                          HighlandLawyerH 1 Reply Last reply
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