Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
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@vkc women will just stay on corporate social media even more because at least the user base there isn't so heavily skewed white male. I'd only been posting regularly for about a week here and got tone policed by some dude who said he was muting me for 30 days because I wasn't cheery enough. I extended his 30 days with a block. I've been in tech for over 25 years and I don't play.
@vkc @effariwhy the social media equivalent of some dickhead shouting CHEER UP LOVE from a passing car
it's so fucking sad it's actually comical. -
Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc@linuxmom.net I hope you're fine. Harassers are such awful people. I hope they don't do that to you ever again, and that admins in our instances do their best to block them
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@vkc no it is not and quite frankly your response is quite obnoxious. If we can't talk about problems collectively on this shithole platform and only talk about one thing at a time than it becomes loose islands among the rest of the sewage, but fine whatever. Thank you for proving my point about how hostile this place is becoming with all you morons whining, but yet do this type of shit. Anyways, enjoy the block. I generally don't care.
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@vkc ugh. I saw your earlier post and I'm so sorry ๐ซ
A *lot* of (mostly) guys need to learn the difference between appropriate, consensual flirting, and sexual harassment.
@alice I think a lot of guys could also benefit from reading your "sucker punch" post about open registration and moderation. It def opened my eyes to how others are treated on here and elsewhere...
๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) (@alice@lgbtqia.space)
Why reactive moderation isn't going to cut it, aka, "The Sucker-punch Problem". Imagine you invite your friendโlet's call him Markโto a club with you. It's open-door, which is cool, because you like when a lot of folx show up. Sure, it might get a little rowdy, but they have a bouncer, and you've never seen things getting out of hand. So, you're busy dancing when a new guy walks in wearing a "I Hate Mark" shirt and promptly sucker-punches Mark. You didn't see it happen, but Mark is upset and tells the bouncer, who kicks the guy out. A few minutes later, the same guy walks back in and sucker-punches Mark again. Same result. Some people in the club say they'll tell the bouncer if they see him come in again. Mark wants to leave, but you tell him it's not that badโafter all, you've never been punched, and you didn't see Mark get punched, so maybe he's just being sensitive. A different guy walks in wearing a "I Plan On Punching Mark" shirt. No one tells the bouncer, because they've never seen *this* guy punch Mark. He sucker-punches Mark. At this point, Mark is pissed and yelling about being punched. The club members talk about putting up a "No Punching Mark" sign, but the owner is worried it'll hurt his club's growth. Another Mark in the club proposes they turn away anyone wearing an anti-Mark shirt or espousing anti-Mark rhetoric at the door, but this gets shot down for the same reason as the sign ideaโthen someone sucker-punches him. By the end of the night, your friend Mark is beat to fuck and says he'll never come to this club again. In fact, he's going to tell anyone named Mark to stay clear of this place. The next time you go to the club, half the folx there are wearing "I Kill Marks" shirts, but there aren't any Marks there, so it doesn't come up. I've been sucker-punched every day, for the last three days in a row by some of the most vile hate-speech and imagery. The accounts are using open registration servers and signing up with variations on the username "heilhitler1488". I fully expect it'll continue as long as we have open registration servers. And no, username pattern blocking alone won't fix this, it'll help a little, but mostly it'll just make them wear a different shirt while they sucker-punch us. #OpenRegistrationHurts
LGBTQIA.Space (lgbtqia.space)
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@vkc
I'd report and block them... Dont censor yourself because of bad users. Just my opinion.
That is the power we have taken back by being on the Fediverse
I think the "I" in that reply needs to be "you" and "me" for that to work.
If it is just the woman doing the moderation, then those guys just keep doing it, and it becomes "women's work". -
@vkc ugh. I saw your earlier post and I'm so sorry ๐ซ
A *lot* of (mostly) guys need to learn the difference between appropriate, consensual flirting, and sexual harassment.
@vkc sadly this is an issue that'll only start to get better when guys call other guys out on this behaviorโevery time they see it.
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@vkc ugh. I saw your earlier post and I'm so sorry ๐ซ
A *lot* of (mostly) guys need to learn the difference between appropriate, consensual flirting, and sexual harassment.
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@alice I think a lot of guys could also benefit from reading your "sucker punch" post about open registration and moderation. It def opened my eyes to how others are treated on here and elsewhere...
๐ ฐ๐ ป๐ ธ๐ ฒ๐ ด (๐๐ฆ) (@alice@lgbtqia.space)
Why reactive moderation isn't going to cut it, aka, "The Sucker-punch Problem". Imagine you invite your friendโlet's call him Markโto a club with you. It's open-door, which is cool, because you like when a lot of folx show up. Sure, it might get a little rowdy, but they have a bouncer, and you've never seen things getting out of hand. So, you're busy dancing when a new guy walks in wearing a "I Hate Mark" shirt and promptly sucker-punches Mark. You didn't see it happen, but Mark is upset and tells the bouncer, who kicks the guy out. A few minutes later, the same guy walks back in and sucker-punches Mark again. Same result. Some people in the club say they'll tell the bouncer if they see him come in again. Mark wants to leave, but you tell him it's not that badโafter all, you've never been punched, and you didn't see Mark get punched, so maybe he's just being sensitive. A different guy walks in wearing a "I Plan On Punching Mark" shirt. No one tells the bouncer, because they've never seen *this* guy punch Mark. He sucker-punches Mark. At this point, Mark is pissed and yelling about being punched. The club members talk about putting up a "No Punching Mark" sign, but the owner is worried it'll hurt his club's growth. Another Mark in the club proposes they turn away anyone wearing an anti-Mark shirt or espousing anti-Mark rhetoric at the door, but this gets shot down for the same reason as the sign ideaโthen someone sucker-punches him. By the end of the night, your friend Mark is beat to fuck and says he'll never come to this club again. In fact, he's going to tell anyone named Mark to stay clear of this place. The next time you go to the club, half the folx there are wearing "I Kill Marks" shirts, but there aren't any Marks there, so it doesn't come up. I've been sucker-punched every day, for the last three days in a row by some of the most vile hate-speech and imagery. The accounts are using open registration servers and signing up with variations on the username "heilhitler1488". I fully expect it'll continue as long as we have open registration servers. And no, username pattern blocking alone won't fix this, it'll help a little, but mostly it'll just make them wear a different shirt while they sucker-punch us. #OpenRegistrationHurts
LGBTQIA.Space (lgbtqia.space)
@semitones thanks for bringing that up ๐ฉท seems like a good time to boost that post again.
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@vkc ugh. I saw your earlier post and I'm so sorry ๐ซ
A *lot* of (mostly) guys need to learn the difference between appropriate, consensual flirting, and sexual harassment.
Absolutely. We, as men, *must* step up. Not only with standing against sexual harassment; but also the "edgy" comments
Its easy to spout as a man you'd stand against brutality. But yet we're often quiet when women, POC, are ignored, belittled, etc.
Creating a world where we all are safe from harm is stopping **all** forms of harassment, staring, belittling, catcalling. At. All. Times.
Men, we need to do better and hold each other accountable. For everyone, including ourselves
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@bob I always report and block. My problem is I need the collective *you* to report and block. And more.
@vkc
Im an admin over here and when i see it, I become a pitbull
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@byrnensorg I gotta believe we can do better than this, because the alternative is pretty fucking sad.
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@eq "don't let the idiots get you" - do you see how that puts it on me?
I trust you mean well, but respectfully: no. The correct response is "men should fight back when they see this amongst themselves."
It isn't my responsibility to "not let them get me down." It's men who need to step up and fight this battle.
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Absolutely. We, as men, *must* step up. Not only with standing against sexual harassment; but also the "edgy" comments
Its easy to spout as a man you'd stand against brutality. But yet we're often quiet when women, POC, are ignored, belittled, etc.
Creating a world where we all are safe from harm is stopping **all** forms of harassment, staring, belittling, catcalling. At. All. Times.
Men, we need to do better and hold each other accountable. For everyone, including ourselves
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@byrnensorg I gotta believe we can do better than this, because the alternative is pretty fucking sad.
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Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc sorry you have to deal with that shit. Dudes need to be better. You shouldn't have to put up with the extra BS just because you're a woman on the internet.
If I see I will do my best to call it out. Too much happens in places I can't see which I think is one of the few flaws Masto has. Not sure how to fix that tho. But if I can help I will.
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@vkc men, do better.
Be a man in the internet. Talk about what you like. Cars, weather, trains, sports. See how the replies are on topic.
Be a woman on the internet. Talk about what you like.
Cars, weather, trains, sports. See the replies talking about your boobs. See the DMs filled with, "hey baby", and unsolicited dick pics.If you are a man, you won't see most - or any! - of what women experience daily online. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Your just in a safe little bubble of privilege. Own it, and do better.
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@vkc men, do better.
Be a man in the internet. Talk about what you like. Cars, weather, trains, sports. See how the replies are on topic.
Be a woman on the internet. Talk about what you like.
Cars, weather, trains, sports. See the replies talking about your boobs. See the DMs filled with, "hey baby", and unsolicited dick pics.If you are a man, you won't see most - or any! - of what women experience daily online. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Your just in a safe little bubble of privilege. Own it, and do better.
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Deleted my post about the sexual harassment I'd received on Fedi, because it was driving more sexual harassment toward me.
Y'all want women on Fedi? Fight that shit. I can't do it for you.
@vkc Those of us who wouldn't see it much because it isn't directed at us and may never pass through our feed. I guess the best thing is to screenshot the harassment and post it for all to see so we can harass the harasser.
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