Try one in your world today
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Cube of instant castle: Say the keyword ‘open’ to transform this cube into a '200x’200 castle. The transformation happens instantly, and if you’re caught in the area of effect, be prepared to get smashed. The cube is hard of hearing.
I’ll use a sending stone like a garage door opener as I’m pulling up in the carriage
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With the cheating stipulation I’d personally let greater restoration work too.
I re-read greater restoration, because 5e was never really my game (3.5), and saw one of its uses was explicitly to end one effect reducing your hit point maximum. So I’d amend my earlier and say yeah, that spell works. Since my reading is that it’d only reverse a single crit fail’s penalty per casting - not to mention the spell has a smallish material component cost (100 gp diamond) - the weapon wouldn’t call it cheating, per se.
As the dagger’s main thing is that it’s a 1d6 instead of 1d4, that’s only +1 point of damage per hit on average. 1 in 20 hits backfires, so essentially the cost for 19 extra damage over 19 hits per penalty taken, reversing just the one with a 5th level spell… there’s better ways to do 19 damage with a 5th level spell, so probably not really cheating
Correct if I’m misremembering the general benefits of the sapient dagger.
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Bag for holding:
It’s a bag of holding but instead of occupying a bag slot it must be kept in the main hand.
Bag of handholding
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Cube of instant castle: Say the keyword ‘open’ to transform this cube into a '200x’200 castle. The transformation happens instantly, and if you’re caught in the area of effect, be prepared to get smashed. The cube is hard of hearing.
Excellent weapon then
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Bag of handholding
?Handbag of holding
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Helm of Invincibility: you are invincible, but only to people who have Vince in their name, e.g. Vince, Vincent, some other name with Vince
Also resistant to a single Vance (yes, that one) due to a pronunciation error during casting
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How do I delete someone else’s comment?
Become a moderator
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I have a spreadsheet full of these somewhere. The 2 that my players got that I remember them using are:
Emperors armor: +3 full plate armor with no strength or armor proficiency requirement. When you look at yourself or in a mirror you see yourself in full plate armor, but to everyone else you are naked and if anyone tells you that you are naked the armor and all your possessions cease to exist. My player made it the shopping district in the heart of the city before someone told him.
Staff of disintegrating: when activated, it disintegrates. The player that got this one saved it for a boss fight. He found it hilarious though.
If staff of disintegrating can be activated remotely you can make traps with it
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Skull of Corruption: It can do damage, but most of the time to your invaluable backup files.
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Sword with fire enchantment, fire has no regulator and cannot be turned off.
Sword II: HAS a regulator but needs to be monitored because using it for too long may melt it. And needs to cool down before sheathing.
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Bag of Communal Holding
Content is shared with all other bags of communal holding in existence. Sometimes retrieving objects involves awkward hand contact if someone else is using their bag at the same time.
Not accidentally holding a strangers hand. This is the worst one by far.
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Flail of Flatulence: deals an additional 1d4 of embarrassment to the target while dealing 1d4 of gas damage to everything within 6 meters.
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I might actually steal that cloak for my D&D campaign lol
I’m flattered. They’re fun things to come up with. -
I was thinking something like flight but only in directions away from enemies.
Cape of (White) Flight could be fun, too.
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Bag of holding, but everything that goes in comes out a crocheted plushie version.
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Cape of (Refugee) Flight: you gain the power to fly for your life.
Screaming Cloak of Invisibility: you’re invisible, but the cloak constantly screams, “HE’S OVER HERE!!!” and tries to give away your location.
The Tax Axe: raises both your taxes and your target’s with every swing.
The Tax Axe might be the most evil weapon ever devised.
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The Tax Axe might be the most evil weapon ever devised.
Wielded correctly, in the hands of someone self-sacrificial, it could rectify many of society’s wrongs.
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Sword II: HAS a regulator but needs to be monitored because using it for too long may melt it. And needs to cool down before sheathing.
Hate it when my sword thermal throttles in the middle of combat.
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Bag of holding, but everything that goes in comes out a crocheted plushie version.
I just thought of the most evil shit you could do with this.
They buy the bag and it comes preloaded with a couple lil crocheted trinkets that are cutesy and like grandma made it for adventurers. A lil mealkit, a ration pack, a lil sword and shield but also a doll. As they slowly start to realize what the bag does they remember the doll and start freaking out about what if it was a person who went in there to hide and got turned and we gotta fix 'em! Ends up being a whole quest line to unfuck the bag, the bag items and specifically this doll. At the very end they undo the doll and it turns into a wooden doll. Then when laughter/disappointment just getting to the right point, have the doll talk. Get the joke of it being a doll and they get the expectation they wanted of it being a living being they saved.
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Sir Mix-a-Lot (unrelated) is a traveling potion salesman who shows up for my party at suspiciously specific times, and generally has discounted potions specifically tailored for whatever they happen to be doing at the time. For example, if they need to be really strong, he’ll have a bottle of Sir Flex-a-Lot’s Magical Muscle Maximizer, which does increase the strength of one’s muscles, but not of their bones or connective tissue (it was designed to be used only in bodybuilding competitions), so whenever the drinker does a STR check, they must also make a CON saving throw to avoid breaking a bone or tendon. Need to decipher an ancient text? Try Sir Scripts-a-Lot’s Polyglottal-in-a-bottle, which will let you read unknown languages, but also comprehend all unknown languages, even those of the plants and animals around you, making it very difficult to concentrate on any one thing. (inspired by https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/springtime)
I have to steal that for whenever I run a campaign again. Seems like an entertaining recurring character to also clue players in that something is going to happen
