Alternatively, it turns out the noblewoman who has hired the adventuring party for a string of missions is effectively destitute and extremely in debt. Neither able to pay the adventurers nor pay her outstanding credit debt toward several influential and unscrupulous banking houses who have thrown some gold together to pay a mercenary troop to collect the gold from her or alternatively take natural goods (speak plundering her holdings). Now, with a small mercenary army bearing down on the pastoral villages and crumbling castle, what will the party do?

The sorcerer is named Charles le Sorcier (Charles the Sorcerer) and it is his father who has been killed, named Michel Mauvais, Michel Bad.

A former foot soldier in the crusades who had a panicked war horse fall on his legs in a skirmish somewhere on the way to Antioch and was left behind in Bulgaria by a retreating supply train on his way back. His shattered leg never healed well and he is in constant pain he has mostly learned to live with, does not speak the language and is edging out a small existence as a gravedigger in a bigger city, dragging his twisted limb through rain-soaked earth, muttering prayers in a foreign dialect to saints no one there worships. Somewhere between Neutral Good and Neutral Bitter, depending on the day. I know it is a bit hammy.

Shhhhhhhhhhh! He’s a sleeper agent…Turns on the rest of the party at the end!

Opening a tavern after retiring from adventuring is so out of fashion. I’d open a prank/novelty/gag store and sell little wooden thumbs to the unthumbed. I’d also sell middle fingers but only to bards.

Mage the ascension sounds a lot like Lancer in that way

Scheduling issues

“If a tree kills alone in the forest, does it make a sound?” ~Durkon Thundershield

Sounds like an Umber Hulk tbh

Got a Scroll of Prestidigitation as a joke item, but I saved it, and eventually found a use for it, allowing my character to avoid the use of a public bathhouse, which was great for him due to personal issues. The scroll became a running joke, everyone would always laugh about, “Oh, if we only had a Scroll of Prestidigitation!” whenever we fall into a sewer or something. So when he got his next cantrip, at level up, there was really only one choice

-Isaac Asimov, Foundation (1951)

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That’s exactly what I needed, thanks. +1 sanity points. Edit: holy shit, knowyourmeme has more intel than the CIA.

Braham’s loud ass nervous laugh screaming Praise Joko will live in my head forever.

So, yes. I’m well aware of the limitation that the quality of the item cannot exceed the quality of the materials themselves. So in that case you wouldn’t be able to make a normal set. But. I’d be hard pressed to not give it to them in some fashion. The plate but with an extra disadvantage. I like to reward creativity and I never see anyone use the fabricate spell.

You try to read the wall of text, but it’s written in a handwriting you have a lot of trouble deciphering. You believe that it says that the pandemic caused people to stutter and that a bard was able to cure that stuttering by singing a spell of “Silence”. And that the bard eats goblins all day.

I had a portable talking version of battleship (Battleship Command) as a kid and it has these little planes. If I remember correctly, I think they allowed you to “see” a little bit of the opponents board and you placed them on top of your own ships? Also the sound effects in that version were great, almost all done by human voice. The ship sinking sound was hilarious “glub glub glub” Edit: in fact, this picture definitely looks like it’s from Battleship Command!

Ever since I switched from text to voice I feel like my characters lost some of their… Verbosity. But last night I bon-mot-ed a minotaur (as my ascended animal swash-bard unicorn) by saying “Oooh, a fellow hooved creature! … Sorry about your appearance, fella.” And rolled a crit. And it felt awesome. Playing Swashbard is awesome.

My kids are closer to 9th grade than I am.

“I am in this photo and I don’t like it.”